CBT (Cocaine Before Typing)

“Stop tripping, I’m tripping off the powder
…
(21st-century schizoid man)”
—Kanye West, ‘POWER’

My ex-girlfriend…
She… she took my heart again
Outside the eye hospital…

…But now she’s nothing but a forgotten line
That I’ve just written; so use all your truth, follow your path,
And listen to the signs from the universe; though only to get a reader provoked. I am as honest
As the day is long
Until I’m making it up for someone else, spreading every inch
Of myself across the bar for a pioneering exploration
Of toxic masculinity, traversing over the capped peaks
Of my gender: “I
Can be a vulnerable, emotionally intelligent man, woman”; or,
“I’ll pull my heart out my chest, stick it on my sleeve,
Then spread it all over you, woman.” Then you can really spread it over them, can’t ya—gu’on then, my son!

(I don’t know she was just walking past the eye hospital. It doesn’t really mean anything.)

“I am the Dalai Lama with good dick.”
Doc! By writing it down I now feel I got good dick!
Thoughts that are challenging. My cognition’s behaving terribly!
Though I am creating what I want.
“But… but sometimes, Doc, I… I really feel…”
No! No way, my son—no doubt! You want good dick, you tell yourself you got good dick.
I got good dick. Meditate on that.

The boy was cocky and had irritating energy—I never understood him. But such a hunk! A sight for sore eyes when we crossed paths the other day. It’d been what, four months? I’m still resentful.
And wet.
And fascinated by his ability to make up meaningless interjections from me. I mean, I’m obviously still in his hea-

Stop listening to other people. Hearing other people. Your days are short and there’s no truth.
Slick syntactic relationships to create sophisticated semantic tricks? These are redundant
If you don’t have your own good diction.

But I don’t half write some drivel when I’m only in second gear after a night on the gear
Playing with lines (“Certainly don’t listen to me!”) in the kitchen
Never sure which one to arbitrarily start
Or end with: “My ex-girlfriend…”? Nah.

“My pen…
…Is nearly as mighty as my sword.”