Early Doors Before the Committee Took Charge

“(We’ve got much to discuss)”
—Arctic Monkeys, ‘Batphone’

“Quem Iuppiter vult perdere, dementat prius”
—Who knows

I’m on one and loveless like all the best, refusing
The tablets, the therapy, the rest. Let’s see

What they say about that one! Let’s see
If they trust my method—my very easy method—

Of just, “Making things up!” (yeah right OK)
And skating out of it with no knee pads. I could make a career out of this

If only I will. And what they going to say about that, too? How they going to package
“I am centuries old, here, I suppose. And I am

Well, maybe an old grandfather clock in a wood cabin in Utah, say,
Left to the second cousins through Aunt Gina. Not all that grand, really,

But visually something, at least—something for the grandkids, at least!—if
They find that necessary, that is. At least something for them to fight over!”

And they’ll still say I should, “Get out the house!”
And see someone. My very easy method indeed.